If Scott Goldie Can/Meditations on a Crisis/End-times Sales Pitch

I shall not be outdone.

They can carve that on my gravestone for all I care, but it shall remain truth; I shall not be outdone. Not by Scott Goldie, not when writing is in my blood, and my blood is up. For these are troubled times; I say, little children, can you say hallelujah! For the good lord will descend and he will raise you up; so sayeth the random American.

Yes folks; the Rapture is upon us. Never mind that no man can know the day or the hour; that doesn't matter where the Evangelist is concerned. No-no. So! In the spirit of Atheist-faith cooperation I have been putting together a list of Rapture Rules; to help you through the turmoil and tumult that will follow the Christians (read: Our consciences) ascending into heaven as the Tribulation descends upon us.

#1: Memorise where the Rich Christians live.

Isn't greed a terrible sin? These people have lived good lives and lives of plenty. They won't need these goods where they're going; thus, fair game. Other raiders will be on the lookout though, so hurry! Gold, jewels, clothing, games, food, porn; all for the taking!

#2: Organise the abandoned Rapture pets into vicious packs.

Not only is this smart in terms of food (much pussy will be eaten; but so will dog), it also has defence aspects. A pack of wild slavering beasts can be of great use in the looming godless wastelands; they can hunt food, kill intruders and generally be used for amusement. I can has shotgun?

#3: Build a better religion.

We can't have everyone getting dejected over being left behind; that just won't do! The faithful didn't ascend by the will of God; the weak were vaporised by Thor's will, so that his strong sons might inherit the earth! Religion is control, so grind out that opiate for the masses!

#4: Always bring a towel.

Common sense at it's finest.

#5: Harvest unbaptised babies.

It's a fact of life; the unbaptised are born corrupt and soulless; writhing with original sin, dripping with venom and tailed like scorpions. Harvesting children is smart for barter (The baby of today is the slave of tomorrow) or food (I want my baby back baby back baby back...)

Final declaration: In the event of the rapture occuring; it's Thunderdome time. I expect costumes. I expect mayhem. I expect an insane anti-semite.

Bitter Ruin Gig Review.

The first time I saw Bitter Ruin I jumped.

I think I'll always remember that; standing at the very front at Oran Mor, unsure about who exactly the support were. I'd briefly looked at their Myspace and was impressed by “Trust” but I still had no bigger picture of who they were. Chewing Gum started, the soft la-ing of Georgia lulling me into a false sense of security, before inevitably she belts out “GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT.”

I flinched.

Perhaps it's that I wasn't expecting it, or perhaps it's because there was such power in her, such raw emotion that it cuts you to the quick. If there's one thing Bitter Ruin excel at, it's emotional rapture- somewhere between musical fireworks and heroin.

So, we come to their return to Glasgow, and to the lovely setting of Ivory Blacks. First up is Jim Byrne, who I have to admit is pretty awesome. Despite the fact that he offers us the choice between Blues and Country; which I think must be the Red Neck/Deliverance equivalent of Sophie's Choice, he plays some decent songs. I meet him later and get his autograph; congratulating him on a job well done.

This is followed by the sensation that is Hannah O Reilly. I have never heard of her before; though in retrospect I had never heard of Ruin before Amanda Palmer...Perhaps this is the onset of some kind of insane constant loop of finding great acts through support. I certainly hope so.

Hannah is a larger than life personality, an irresistible lure always willing to engage with the crowd. And do we ever engage. Whether we're cheering along to songs about murdering an old lover, stabbing a prostitute with her own shoe (“Stilleto”, which elicited a gleeful Wayne's World quote from me) or joining her in climaxing throughout “Valium Country”, she never fails to impress, entrance and entertain.

She also has the banter down with the audience, regaling us in a southern drawl about how she likes to kill folk, or playing with her kazoo. Multi-talentedness is always a delightful plus!

I buy her album and she signs it; not simply with her name, but with interesting little notes. She does this at the bar, we share a bit of banter- mostly about how awesome I think she was- and all is right with the world. Except...

Well, in my pursuit of autographed trinkets and celebrity association, I lose my place in the crowd. I was at the front, the very front, for two bands! Admittedly that only served to put me next to the shrill drunk fans who've been shouting with bemusing regularity throughout, but it was the front!

I settle in a few rows behind, and wait.

The ruination begins, and it is wonderful. Opening with “The Vice”, Bitter Ruin are on top form. Georgia's robotic movements remind you of something from an old play- like a figment of black and white come to life. Doll-like and wonderful, she is complimented perfectly by Ben's artful guitar work and well-pitched vocals. From there we are into “Soldier”, an ode to a relationship you can't escape from. Again, it is wonderful.

I'll drop to highlights now; we have Stand to Attention; the old favourite with all the photographing! Full of passion and power, lyrics are belted out by Georgia, accompanied by Ben's insistant military phraseology; a mantra and a backbeat .

There is “Dancing Dolls of Porcelain” where we all have to be extra rowdy at the chorus in order to win sweets, and we succeed beautifully; the song is one of my favourites from the new album- catchy and upbeat with that constant edge of dark passion.

“Brand New Me” is another song which grips you; a light and fluffy sort of a song that Georgia encourages you to imagine as draped in Wizard of Oz imagery. Her gently dark lyrics are wonderfully executed, especially towards the end.

New song Relief features more of the same sort of chemistry; a cymbal banging ode to the wild west, with our heroes in a stand-off. I have to admit I was impressed by this one, and wish it was available for repeated listening...

Arses were signed. We shall avoid all mention.

Deficiency of You is another song from the new album, and another that goes a little slower. Meditative and musing, it's a shared song- showing off the talents of both Ben and Georgia; either of their efforts never fail to ensnare.

Outrageous is a song that I was looking forward to hearing live, since they didn't get to play it at Oran Mor. Very high pitched, it is launched into with aplomb

Old favourite“Trust” makes a wonderful appearance; I've always loved the chemistry that exists there- the back and forth dynamic of the band, the overlapping singing before the confrontation. “How can you ask me to trust you again?” implores Ben before Georgia snaps “Did I ask you to trust me at all?” I love it.

Soundproof Box. Soundproof Box. What can I say about Soundproof Box. I never actually knew it was about a ghost till they told us; but it remains perhaps my favourite song from the new album (Trust is likely my favorite from the old). It's hard to relate to a song about being disconnected from life, when it touches so deeply- it's an emotional tug at the heart and with the revelation of it being about being a ghost unable to interact with a world you loved, I can't help but relate the title to a coffin.

The time is running short, but the band come back for a few more songs (Encouraged by the awesome chant of “FUCKING BEN!”. Chewing Gum plays, and I remember seeing them for the first time; I remember that shudder, that shock running through me, before the onset of stunned awe. It grips me just as much as the first time.

Beware is their last song of the night, a song notable in that if you don't like it you get to see the band dead. It's a sad sort of back and forth edged with a wariness about love (at least in my opinion). It's a beautiful end to the evening; a sad and haunting end which promises only future happiness.

After all; they have to come back some time, and Hannah gigs in Scotland. I can only hope that my calender is a little bit more crowded in the months to come. :)

MD

Apologies

Forgive me my sins, audience (If you even exist, I could be wrong but I hardly think I'm a chittering hub-hive of watchery), it has been far too long since I last visited and regaled you all with stories.

Suffice to say; I'm really bad at this.

Blogging I mean; any other failings are to be elaborated upon at far later dates. I'm sitting here at 3.30am, mindlessly watching TV and exchanging whimsical texts; hardly the stuff of grand blogging endeavours, not the sort of things that dreams are made of.

All this is, you'll understand, cresting on a rather mixed wave; work is taking it's toll on me, the extra hours really battering me about. The fact that my leg is killing me from boxing doesn't help matters (And it's hardly going to heal up with all the pulling and lifting I do at work), siiiiiiigh.

What else, what else; sushi and drinking have so far been the bouyants for this week, enjoyable little pursuits to take my mind off of the awful month-and-a-bit long drudgery. More on my social dalliances at a later date.

To the point; this is my call to arms, an actual kick in the arse for actual bloggerific progress.

Wish me luck, I'll damn well need it.

Boredom rides the star wind

Wednesdays are rueful days of nothing and fail. This is self evident in the fact that I do resoundingly little on Wednesdays compared to the rest of the week. Even writing and reading tend to take swan-dives into nothingness.

I really ought to remedy this, but by the gods I have no idea how I would start. I actually thought that changing my gym habits to neglect Wednesday would break up the week and provide me with some much needed breathing room. A fool. I was a fool!

Instead I'm looking forwards, plotting for my future. I'm considering doing a Postgraduate Diploma, so that I have a chance of getting into a Masters degree. At the moment I'm looking at a nice (but pricey) online course in Edinburgh.

Details as they emerge, blog/audience.

When you find yourself falling...

Dive.

I'm not used to this, not used to this at all. I'm not exactly the utterly open type, content to prostitute my real thoughts on the web. I usually hide behind poetic metaphor, I like to lie to myself and pretend that it's easier to vent that way. But...I dunno. I'm bored, I need to express myself a little more directly. I need to try this blogging malarkey. Twittering has admittedly helped, it's got me used to rambling about random stuff, albeit in a slimmer volume of text.

So this is the beginning; the real beginning; of the MalkavianDelirium.

Mwah.